so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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