one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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