you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
