We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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