She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
