I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
