So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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