woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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