at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
