Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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