I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize