how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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