hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
