her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
