Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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