Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
