White coat. Heels.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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