I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize