You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
