We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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