Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
