it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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