She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
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Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
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I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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