so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
