awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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