the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The feeling are messing with the penis
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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