Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
