So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
im on a boat
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