I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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