I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
