There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
