You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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