a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
