dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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