Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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