We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
