i love accidental penises.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
