He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
