This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Sober January is a disaster.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
