When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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