windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
