there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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