If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
