So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
