Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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