you traded sex for a burrito?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
