Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
