I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
