Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
last night I used snow as a chaser
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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