i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
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