wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You ate ashes out of my bong
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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