is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
porn star boner night. come get it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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