trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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