ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize