i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
