i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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