if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
